One of the worst things that can happen after breakup is if your ex decides to leave town. In fact, this did happen to a very good friend of mine and he is completely devastated. There’s so much he wanted to tell her, now he just doesn’t have a chance.
Now that I think of it, it’s probably a good thing that she did leave. Because he was digging himself a deep hole. He was texting her at least every half hour - there’s no way that could have lasted. If she hadn’t left, there would have been fireworks and he would have probably ruined any chance he had of getting her back.

As it stands right now, he thinks that he has the worst luck in the world. I’m trying to convince him that this may be the proverbial cloud with the silver lining. I’m trying to make him understand that his approach was negative and toxic and would have ended in tears.

It’s not easy to convince someone of something they don’t truly believe. He is certain that his ex-girlfriend is never going to come back. That’s only adding to his anxiety and making the problem worse. Fortunately, these things don’t last and in a few weeks he should be as right as rain. I honestly can’t wait.

After a breakup, there is almost no chance that you’ll ever find out if your ex still has feelings for you.  After all, they took it upon themselves to dump you, so showing any signs of feelings or affection now would make them look like a hypocrite.  Have you ever wondered why they appear so hard-nosed after the breakup?

Of course, that’s not to say that they don’t have feelings for you.  Actually, it would be very unusual for them not to.  You don’t just shut off your emotions like that, so you can pretty much guarantee that they still feel something for you. In some cases, those feelings are still quite strong.

Don’t despair - even if they don’t show you outwards signs of affection, you can still pick up on some very obvious signals if you’re willing to read between the lines a little. Just make sure that you’re not reading something that isn’t there.  You’ve got to really step back and analyze the situation logically.

Initially, you likely won’t be in contact with your ex. You’ll both need time to grieve over the breakup. Once you’re both over the initial shock and you can think a little more clearly, try to meet up just as friends for coffee.  During this time, you should be able to easily pick up on signs that your ex still loves you.  This is going to be even simpler if you’ve been together for long time and you know each other well enough.

Again, don’t try to make something out of nothing.  It should be very obvious within the first few minutes whether there are any lingering feelings.  In either case, it’s not a good idea for you to act on your own feelings.  Even if your ex displays signs of affection, play it cool and don’t appear needy.  After all, they dumped you. On the other hand, if you pick up on no signs of affection at all, don’t let them know that you’re still attracted to them.  In other words, don’t initiate any sort of romantic gesture - this is a recipe for disaster.  It truly has to be a mutual feeling.

If you’ve been through a breakup recently and you’re wondering if your ex still has feelings for you, here is a quiz that should help you put things in perspective. Answer as honestly and accurately as possible and you should be able to tell whether there is still something there or not.

1. About the breakup – who broke it off?

a) You

b) It was mutual

c) They did

2. Does your ex still phone you just to talk?

a) Often

b) Occasionally

c) Never

3. When you see your ex in public, do they

a) Greet you with a smile and genuine warmth?

b) Acknowledge your presence, but that’s about it (a quick hello or a nod – neutral mood)?

c) Greet you with hostility and sarcasm, or simply try to avoid you?

4. Do you find your ex turning up at the same social events as you?

a) Yes, it is quite noticeable

b) The odd time

c) My ex never turns up where I am

5. Do you find that you are “accidentally” bumping into your ex in public?

a) Yes

b)Sometimes

c) Never

6. If you do meet up as friends, do they flirt with you (touching, sensual eye contact, or romantic suggestions)?

a) It is very noticeable

b) Maybe, but it is very low-key

c) Definitely not. And they go out of their way to make sure I understand this

7. Do you catch your ex staring at you in public?

a) Always

b) Possibly

c) Never

8. Do they still keep in contact with your family?

a) Very much so

b) Somewhat

c) No contact at all

9. Is your ex still a part of your core group of friends?

a) Yes

b) Yes, but they are gradually distancing themselves

c) Not a part of your group at all

10. If your ex is in a crisis, do they contact you to talk about it?

a) Yes, I am their shoulder

b) Occasionally, but I’m not top of the list

c) Never. In fact, I usually hear about it from other people

11. If your ex finds out you are in a crisis, do they automatically phone to console you?

a) Yes, I can count on their support

b) Sometimes

c) They would never call

12. Is your ex asking about you through common friends?

a) Yes, I hear about it frequently

b) In the beginning, yes – but not so much anymore

c) No

13. Did your ex start seeing someone soon after the split

a) No

b) After a while

c) Immediately

14. If they are seeing someone else, do they flaunt their new relationship in your face?

a) Never

b) At times

c) They go out of their way to make sure I see them with their new partner

Score:

a = 3 points

b = 2 Points

c = 1 Point

If you scored 14 - 22 points - It’s probably best to move on. It doesn’t look as though your ex is interested, and they are making sure you get that message loud and clear.

If you scored 23-32 points - There is likely some attraction there, but your ex may be unsure. They don’t want to jump right back into a relationship, yet they still, obviously, carry a torch for you. You can change things to your favor, but you need to take it slow.

If you scored 33 - 42 points - Your ex is still very attached to you and they want to make sure you know about it. Getting back together should be fairly easy as long as you don’t move too fast.

While there are many questions a jilted lover may contemplate after a breakup, none are as prevalent as, “does my ex still love me?” What is it about that particular phrase that tends to consume our thoughts day in and day out for weeks or months after the split?

Well, a lot of it has to do with needing your former partner.  The ultimate proof that they still care about you, and that there is still a chance for reconciliation, is the fact that they still love you (or exhibit signs that they still love you). As long as they love you, there is always a chance at getting back together - and most of us find that extremely comforting during an otherwise extremely emotional time.

Strangely enough, you’re not always going to know whether your partner still loves you or not.  At least, they’re not going to come right out and tell you.  Instead, you’re going to need to read between the lines and sharpen your observation and intuition skills.  While they may be saying one thing, they may actually mean another.

So what’s the reason for all this indirect communication?  If they still love us, why can’t they just come right out and tell us?

The answer to that question has to do with the fact that they decided to pull the plug on the relationship and end it with you.  If they simply flip-flopped a day or two later, they would look indecisive and manipulative.  They’ve got to stand tough with their decision, no matter what.

However, what you see on the outside and what they feel on the inside could be two completely different things.  It is entirely possible that they will show very subtle signs of attraction and/or love for you in what they say and how they say it.  It’s up to you to be able to interpret it properly - and that is not always an easy task.